Why we give flowers: the history of a very old custom

Giving flowers is one of the oldest human behaviors and one of the hardest to explain in practical terms: you cannot eat them, they do not keep you warm, they last a week. And yet the custom appears in almost every known culture.

The oldest record

In Shanidar Cave, in Iraqi Kurdistan, Neanderthal burials around 60,000 years old were found with high concentrations of pollen. The original interpretation —that the bodies had been deliberately covered with flowers— was later disputed: it may have been the work of rodents hoarding plant material.

The debate is still open, and it is worth presenting it that way instead of taking it for granted, as is usually done. What is beyond dispute is that in Egypt, Greece and Rome flowers already had a fully developed ritual and social role.

Egypt, Greece and Rome

• Egypt: the lotus was a symbol of rebirth and appeared in offerings, tombs and banquets.
• Greece: laurel wreaths for the victors, garlands at weddings and offerings to the gods.
• Rome: petals thrown during triumphal parades, flower crowns at banquets and the custom of offering flowers on birthdays — which is where, very indirectly, the idea of the birth flower comes from.

The language of flowers

Floriography as we know it dates from the 19th century. It reached Europe through accounts of the Ottoman court and took off in Victorian England, a society where saying what you felt outright was socially impossible.

Dozens of flower dictionaries were published, each with its own meanings —which did not always agree with one another—, and bouquets were put together to work as coded messages. Almost all the meanings we repeat today come from there, not from a thousand-year-old tradition. They are collected in the language of flowers.

Why it still works

There is an interesting hypothesis from evolutionary psychology: flowers signal a place where there will later be fruit, so noticing and valuing them would have an adaptive origin. It is a hypothesis, not an established fact.

What can be said with less risk is the social part: a flower is a gift that self-destructs. It does not pile up, it is not stored away, it does not create a debt. You give something that lasts a week, and afterwards nothing remains but the gesture. That is probably why it outlasted everything else.

Availability of each flower changes with the season. If you are looking for a specific flower, ask us before ordering and we will confirm whether we have it.