What to give at a wedding

In Argentina the standard is the sobre, an envelope with a cash gift, and there's a practical reason for it: the party is expensive and most couples already live together, so the traditional gift registry has lost its point. But the envelope isn't always the best option.

When the envelope is the right call

• If the invitation mentions a bank account or a transfer alias. In that case they asked for it explicitly.
• If you know they're saving for the honeymoon or for a house.
• If you don't know them well enough to get something else right.
• If you're going as a couple or a group and want to make a joint contribution.

As for the amount: the most common informal guideline is to cover your plate, that is, what your attendance costs the couple. It's not an obligation (nobody does the math), but it works as a reference.

When something else is better

If you're someone close, a gift people remember means more than an amount that blends in with fifty other envelopes. Options that work:

• Something for the home they wouldn't buy themselves: a good piece of tableware, a throw blanket, something high-quality that isn't on the list of urgent things.
• An experience: a dinner, a getaway, something to do after the party.
• A specific contribution to the trip: a hotel night, an excursion, a dinner at their destination. It's still cash, but with a name on it.
• An album or a video with material from the people who were there. It costs effort, not money, and it's what gets kept the longest.
• A flower arrangement sent to their home the next day. It's unusual, and that's exactly why it works: everyone gives on the same day.

If you're in the wedding party or family

Then the most useful gift is usually logistical: taking care of the flowers for the house the day before, the breakfast the day after, or decorating the car. It's what nobody has time to handle.

A note on flowers

Don't bring flowers to the reception. The decor is already set and a loose bouquet has nowhere to go; plus, the couple ends up carrying things around at four in the morning. If you want to send flowers, send them to their home: the day before or when they get back from the trip.

If you're on the other side

If you're the one getting married, the floral side of the event is covered in how to choose a bridal bouquet and in how much wedding flowers cost.