What to give your mother-in-law

It's the gift with the least room for error in all of social life: it has to be warm but not overfamiliar, thoughtful but not over the top, and it can't say anything about her home, her cooking, or her appearance.

The general rule

A good mother-in-law gift is impersonal in the object and personal on the card. The object shouldn't have an opinion about anything; the words can be warm.

What almost always works

• A seasonal flower arrangement. It's the right answer in most cases: it's appreciated, it doesn't take up space forever, and it implies no judgment.
• A potted orchid. It lasts for months, looks expensive, and is one of the most popular choices for this occasion.
• Flowers plus chocolates or something for tea. The classic combo, impossible to get wrong.
• A breakfast delivered to her home, especially for a special date.
• A nice plant if she enjoys gardening. If she doesn't, it's a chore, not a gift.

What not to risk

• Clothes. It implies a judgment about size and style. No.
• Kitchen items. It can read as "you were missing this" or "cook more."
• Perfume. It's too intimate a choice.
• Decor for her home. You're telling her how her living room should look.
• Anything related to diets, exercise, or anti-aging. Never.

The colors

Pinks, whites, peach, lavender: warm and with no ambiguous reading. Deep red is out of place, and yellow works well if it's a cheerful, mixed-color arrangement.

If the relationship is tense

Then flowers are simply the best option available, for a simple reason: they're a gesture that obligates no one. She doesn't have to use them, display them, or thank you too much. They last a week and leave no debt. A brief, proper card ("Happy birthday, warm wishes") is exactly what's called for.

If the relationship is good

Then it's worth personalizing: her favorite flower, the flower for her birth month, or something that picks up on a conversation you had. It's the difference between doing your duty and giving a gift.

Availability of each flower changes with the season. If you are looking for a specific flower, ask us before ordering and we will confirm whether we have it.